[freshman voice] middle schoolers
[sophomore voice] freshman
[british student voice] the fuck is a sophomore?
[malfoy’s voice] potter
[dumbledore’s voice] HARRY DID U PUT UR NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIYAH?!
NONO NO NO NO SO I HAD CLASS WITH MY LIT TEACHER TODAY AND HIS LEFT ARM IS AMPUTATED FROM JUST BELOW THE ELBOW AND HE WAS HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE PUTTING THE PAPERS ON HIS DESK INTO HIS BREIF CASE AT THE END OF THE CLASS AND I GO TO HIM AND SAY “YOU NEED A HAND?” AND ITS SILENT AND I JUST WHISPER OH NO AND HE STARTS LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY I WAS SO EMBARASSED
i am literally the only person in my history class who has been turning in work consistently all year and i just got an email from my professor saying that if i’m not feeling up to it i dont have to bother writing the 18 page final paper he assigned i just have to not tell anybody god is real
For a while i thought you meant that you had to not tell people that god was real.
This is why punctuation was created
“*WHIRLS SNAPE OUT OF THE WAY*
*SHOVES MINERVA INTO A WALL*
PUT YOUR NAME
*KNOCKS OVER A TABLE AGGRESSIVELY*
IN THE GOBLET
*GRABS HARRY AND SLAMS HIM INTO THE WALL*
OF FIRE!?!?!?1111?!?!111321I3591130583FERGEKLJRKGJ GRLGJWRLKGVJLKJ G” Dumbledore asked calmly.
we’re never gonna get over this are we
what do you do at hogwarts if you start your period?
like do you go and see madam promfrey? or your head of year? because i’m just trying to imagine the slytherin girls going snape and asking for tampons
I do not have the power within me to not reblog this.
senior year of high school i had the battiest old lady for my ap lit class and we had to get up and present a poem and i totally forgot to memorize one so i got up in the front of the room and recited “hotel california” word for word with a straight face and everyone was like cracking up and the teacher gave me a hundred for being “insightful and poetic”
i work at a gym largely frequented by older women, and today as one of them left after her workout she accidentally pulled the entire door handle off and just slowly looked at her bicep in horror as if she was terrified of her new strength. it was beautiful.